Why I will never go back to Germany

April 2015

Easter holidays. Denmark. No money. No ticket home. 2 best friends.

What could come out? The craziest, worst, unforgettable, funniest and miserable trip ever!

My friend and me did not know what to do until the 1st of April, and then we finally randomly decided to hitch-hike to Berlin (we both have never been to Germany, and probably never will be again) for a trip that was supposed to last only 2 days.

The 3rd of April our first adventure started in Fredericia,a dead hole in Denmark. The night before our departure, we were so excited and kept talking about how our trip could have possibly gone, if anyone would have kidnapped us or if we would have met our princes charming (everything impossible happened but that,of course).

So yeah,friday morning we got up very early and after having breakfast, we walked to the motorway with our backpacks and a heart full of joy and excitement . We found a spot and stood there with our piece of cardboard where “Berlin” was written.

It was so cold and windy, and of course with no cars on the motorway as it was Easter holidays,but we didn’t think of that. Anyway, we stood there for like 2 hours without any human being stopping. Some of them were laughing at us from the car, showing the thumb down or just saying “no” with the head. And I am wondering: Can’t you just keep going f***g straight if you don’t want to pick people up?

WHATEVER.

We were frozen, pissed, sad and singing “La vida es un carnaval” to each other to cheer us up. Even if we looked pretty dumb, the song seemed to work coz after a while the first car stopped.

As soon as we entered in that car, we knew well that it was too late to go back and we had to keep going. But we were not certainly aware of what we were going through.

The first car, with 2 really “rock looking” guys,could only drive us for 15 km then we had to start again. After a little while another car,with a smart looking gentleman and a dog stopped,but it was also a short lift and we have been left God-knows-where.

The place was so isolated that we had to wait more than an hour for the next car. The third and fourth car were driven by 2 nice ladies. We were just so hungry and kind of tired as we kept repeating the same speech to every driver: “We are from Italy and Spain, we live in Denmark, we are going to Berlin for the weekend… bla bla bla….”

Ẃe managed to arrive to Flensburg, which is right at the border between Denmark and Germany. Berlin looked a bit closer at the moment, but there were still 430 km left! We found a small cafe and finally had something to eat. It was around 2pm. But the energies that we got back with the food, had to be soon used to solve the next problem: even though there was a cafe and a place where people could have a break, the area was just so shit and it was impossible for cars to stop.

We were hopeless and just started walking along the motorway with the “Berlin sign” in the backpack. We walked, walked and walked and then the miracle: a car.

She was a really nice german girl, just came back from New Zealand where she travelled hitchhiking a lot. She drove us somewhere further in Germany, maybe 80 km.

Our last car drove us until Hamburg, it was almost 4 o’clock and we decide to take a bus to Berlin. We had enough of motorways and cars! We were tired and the bus took almost four hours but at least we could sleep a bit. Once there,we had to find the place where we were supposed to sleep.

We couchsurfed.

You guys know “couchsurfing”? You should, as it is very popular nowadays; but for those who don’t, it is a website where people all over the world offer their couches to travelers to sleep. It is totally free and it is a nice way to make new friends. So we find a guy that could host both of us, and his profile had more then 100 positive references, so we thought it was going to be a great place!

He gave us the directions to get to his place, which wasn’t exactly near the centre. Around 11 o’clock we finally arrived.

We were scared/excited to see our german couch! I really will try to write this in a nice way and without too many rude words, but it is so hard as I get really pissed everytime I think about it.

So we rang the bell and the guy opened the door. He stood there and seemed nervous. He shacked our hands and laughed.

The flat was ok, but dark.We arrived there at 11pm and the only light on was coming from the his laptop. At the beginning we could only “see” the living room, with one couch, a table and a corner with all his “stuff” like laptop and books.

Apart from the dark, what surprised me was a girl sitting in the couch. She was Sara from Colorado, and also a couchsurfer. My friend Ana and I started to be suspicious...

After a bit 2 lithuanian and 2 german girls come. Also couchsurfers. WHAT THE FUCK?????????? We were so confused and mad. 7 girls sleeping in 1 room. The couch could take 3 girls, 2 more slept on a mattress on the floor and us guess where???? On a “air mattress”, or whatever is called (the one you pump air into) which WAS BROKEN, so we basically slept on the floor.

That room was cold and our back was in pain. It was such a tragic situation. So tragic that we just started laughing while we were laying on the frozen floor. It is in situations like these, you realize how great is to have friends. They can just make you smile even though you want to cry!

After our maybe 2 hours sleep night,on Saturday morning we got up early. We wanted to discover Berlin but we didn’t have idea where to start from. We didn’t plan what to see or do. It was just going with the flow. After thinking a bit,we went to a supermarket and we asked for the wall, yes the wall, that is the most important thing in Berlin…we thought. Finally we found it, we were walking around and admiring all the paintings on it. After that.we found a market with typical food so we decided to eat there. Berlin is a nice place but the food is not so special, the Currywurst it’s just a sausage with ketchup and curry.Anyone could make it at home and it tastes nasty.

In the afternoon we joined a free tour around the city. It was really nice, we visited some of the most typical places: Brandenburg Gate, the Reichstag, other part of the wall, Holocaust Memorial, Checkpoint Charlie… The guide was very funny.

These kind of tours are free, but at the end you should tip the guide and you choose the amount. He surely couldn’t survive if all the people would have given him the same tips as we did, 3 euros (some people were giving away 20 euros. NO WAY)!!

After almost three hours walking the tour was over and we went back to “our” place and make pasta for all, as a sign of gratitude to host us (there was nothing to be grateful for. We are just too nice). At that time, the lithuanian and german girls left, but 2 more american come. So in the second night we were 5 girls, but we said to guy that the couch was reserved for me and my friend that night. No way we could sleep again in those conditions.

After dinner and socializing a bit with the american girls we decided to join a pub crawl all together (not the guy obviously, he didn’t deserve to been invited after his shitty hosting).

We were very late, the pub crawl had started and suddenly we saw this huge group of people going to the next bar. It was the pub crawl we were supposed to go to. So we decided to snitch in the middle of the group even though we didn’t pay the ticket!

Stupid decision, just like all the ones we take!

One of the pub crawl organizers realized that we hadn’t paid(she caught only us, all the other american got away with that) and was very mad/rude with us. But who cares, we were free to go to any bar we wanted anyway! But we had to pay to enter in the last disco and after that, everything went wrong.

All of us got lost coz the club so too crowded but somehow we found each other at home again..

Apart from 1 american girl.

The next morning she was missing. Her friend (who left earlier that night) got very angry at us because apparently we left “her”.

Wtf! She,in the first place left her own friend to come back home and then blame us (who don’t know her at all) for not taking care of her. That girl come back after 1 hour, totally happy, as she spent the night with a guy! After this we were fed up and with no money so we tried again to hitch-hike to Denmark again.

We were there for hours, time didn’t pass, no car stopped.

Guys, never ever try to hitchhike in Germany.

So we decided go back to Berlin and try to take a bus or find a car in Gomore or Bla Bla car for the next day. We phoned our host who allowed us to sleep at his place again. We arrived late, we needed a beer after all the day and we didn’t want to meet the angry girl from Colorado. We arrived and we went to bed, couch, mattress…

In the morning we got up very early. We couldn’t find a car so we decided to go to the bus station, where we missed the only bus to Denmark of the day for half hour.

We just had started one of our worst day in life.

We decided go to the train station, but while we were trying to get there, we have been caught without the train ticket and had to pay 40 euros penalty…………………and right away………………..

Once there, we found out that trains Berlin-Denmark where to expensive. We could not buy it. What more could have happened?

Oooooh much more.

We decided to take a bus to Hamburg and then take a train from there. We got a train ticket from Hamburg station til Fredericia and still had 1 hour before the train departure. We had enough. It was time for a beer and a Jägermeister shot.! Ready to go again!!!

Once on the train platform,we were informed that our train have been cancelled and we had to go to another station to take another train. No one in that shithole could speak english or was able to give us some information and the staff in t

he station was really rude .

We went to the another station and finally found another train but only because another guy,in our same situation,helped us! It was terrible.

Finally we were in the train but we had to change several times and when we were only 15 km from home suddenly the train stopped. It also has been cancelled so we had to wait almost one hour. Around 11 o’clock we were back to Fredericia but we had to go to the town and of course there were no buses at that time. But there is always hope. You have to be positive! That day we didn’t have any positivity left inside, but we deserved something good!

Like a miracle,we met a lady who live in our place and drove us home. It was the end of our adventure.

It wasn’t our best trip, but we know that! We are not going to forget it and we learned a lot from it, for example planning more our trips before starting them. It was also a way to connect us more. Bad experiences help people to get to know each other better. Now I know that Ana and I are real friends and we are ready to start again!.